This is my favorite new video from Mormon.org. Why? Because I like that Cassandra Barney is happy to be herself.
As a member of a tight-knit community and committed church group, it can be too easy to fall into the momentum of what everyone else is doing---what others seem to expect a good Christian to be. And it can be easy to lose hope while wasting energy mimicking someone else.
A few years ago I was sitting in church when the Sunday School teacher asked how we recognize a Christlike person. He said they are enthusiastic, energetic, "bubbly."
"Bubbly?" Mr. R whispered.
He and I are far from "bubbly."
It can sometimes seem like the Church of Christ is made for the highly social. Those with less energy need not apply.
A well-meaning friend once asked my friend Emily why she rarely attended church activities outside of the three-hour block and meetings required for her calling. She explained, "I'm kind of an introvert. I'm not really drawn to those kinds of activities."
The other friend responded, "Well, at least you can acknowledge your weaknesses so you can work on them."
Note to the world: Introversion is not a weakness; it's a character trait. Emily wasn't apologizing for her priorities but trying to explain them.
The dictionary defines extroversion as "the act, state, or habit of being predominantly concerned with and obtaining gratification from what is outside the self." In other words, according to Wikipedia, extroverts "tend to enjoy human interactions and to be enthusiastic, talkative, assertive, and gregarious. They take pleasure in activities that involve large social gatherings, such as parties, community activities, public demonstrations, and business or political groups."
On the other hand, introversion is "the state of or tendency toward being wholly or predominantly concerned with and interested in one's own mental life." Wikipedia says that introverts "are people whose energy tends to expand through reflection and dwindle during interaction. Introverts . . . often take pleasure in solitary activities such as reading, writing, drawing, tinkering, playing video games, watching movies and plays, and using computers, along with some more reserved outdoor activities such as fishing. . . . The archetypal artist, writer, sculptor, engineer, composer, and inventor are all generally highly introverted."
Is there room for extro- and introverts in a Church that is supposed to be unified?
Sure, as long as "unity" does not mean "conformity."
I appreciate the example given by my co-worker Jim Summerhays in a Meridian Magazine article a while back:
I once noticed something strange as the Brethren spoke in general conference. I was curious to see that President Thomas S. Monson identified with the gospel in terms of his interactions with others—the widows of his ward and the other downtrodden sojourners of life. He interweaved into his sermons highly personal stories of his youth, the human dramas of others, and his personal ministry. Others like Elder Bruce R. McConkie identified with the gospel in striking contrast. Elder McConkie taught in cosmic and sweeping doctrinal terms. He rarely told stories and seemed to have a vendetta against using time at the pulpit to tell personal anecdotes. I puzzled at why such wide variations in personality and speaking styles existed among leaders of the Church. And even more to my amazement, and here is the material point, I noticed that they weren’t even trying to be alike.
One of my favorite quotes on the topic of individuality within the Church comes from Patricia Holland, wife of the Apostle Jeffrey R. Holland:
I have learned through several fatiguing failures that you can’t have joy in being bubbly if you are not a bubbly person. . . . Somewhere, somehow, the Lord "blipped the message onto my screen" that my personality was created to fit precisely the mission and talents he gave me. . . . Miraculously, I have found that I have untold abundant sources of energy to be myself. But the moment I indulge in imitation of my neighbor, I feel fractured and fatigued and find myself forever swimming upstream. When we frustrate God’s plan for us, we deprive this world and God’s kingdom of our unique contributions. God never gave us any task beyond our ability to accomplish it. We just have to be willing to do it our own way. We will always have enough resources for being who we are and what we can become.
For more reading on this topic, check out "An Introvert Goes to Church", published by Focus on the Family's webzine Boundless. The author suggests evidence that Jesus Himself had introverted tendencies.
Maybe I'm succeeding at following His example after all.
